If you’re interested in trying meditation, we recommend using the Headspace iPhone app to get started.
If you’re interested in trying meditation, we recommend using the Headspace iPhone app to get started.
One of the most insidious aspects of personality or ego that I’ve come across in my career as a coach, is the critical inner voice that hides deep within each of us. Distinct from your intuition, which is helpful in its guidance in your leadership and life, Sarita Chawla, in this video shares how the inner critic can misguide by keeping you small or holding you back.
It’s the inner voice that goes beyond constructive to be cruel and mean. It says “You’re not good enough”, “That was stupid”, “No one will like you” or “Work harder – you’re lazy”.
I think about the effects it’s having – on leaders, team members, their families, their communities and even on a global scale. I imagine the possibility of a world where the mind is naturally kind in its orientation, rather than being naturally negatively oriented, as the author of Buddha’s Brain, Rick Hansen Ph.D., reminds us.
The inner critic, or the superego as described by A.H. Almaas in the workbook called “Working on the SuperEgo”, is a psychological construct – merely a thought. It develops in your mind when, as a child, you get a reaction where you feel shut down or shamed. It’s too painful for you to experience this reaction from those who love you; so your mind creates a critical voice internally and you begin to criticize yourself first, which is less painful.
The Inner Critic feeds the individual and collective painbody and thus perpetuates negative energy in the world. Eckhart Tolle talks about the unresolved, unhealed energy as the pain body in his blog post in the Huffington Post (Eckhart Tolle, “Living in Presence with your emotional painbody”, Huffington Post, 10/6/2010.)
“There is such a thing as old emotional pain living inside you. It is an accumulation of painful life experience that was not fully faced and accepted in the moment it arose. It leaves behind an energy form of emotional pain. It comes together with other energy forms from other instances, and so after some years you have a “painbody,” an energy entity consisting of old emotion.”
What can you do about it? How can you take a holiday from your Inner Critic to be more effective in your relationships with yourself and others? At work and home?
There’s HOPE! It is possible to change the impact the critic has, and it’s worth the investment of your time.
I’ve been aware of and actively engaging with my Inner Critic for the past 10 years and here are a few things I’ve found that help, whether you are a front line employee, a volunteer, a Board member or an Executive:
And then practice awareness to feel into your body. Notice the difference between how the old statement and the new one feel. Do you feel constricted or spacious? Do you feel heavy or lighter? Noticing the positive feelings will help to re-hardwire your brain for a more balanced internal voice. Check out the groundbreaking book by Rick Hanson, Ph.D., called Buddha’s Brain for the practice neuroscience behind banishing the inner critic.
Imagine your organization if all employees were able to let go of their inner critics more of the time – that’s the world I’m striving for.
Tana Heminsley is a Mentor and Executive Coach at ViRTUS, specializing in emotional intelligence, authentic leadership, strategic planning, change management, leadership development, and executive coaching.
As we discussed in part one of this post, there are certain conditions that exist that enhance a leader’s success in using a coach approach. But because a leader is first and foremost responsible to deliver organizational results through team members, it still remains that coaching is not always the most proper approach for a leaders.
When the agenda is the organizations’ vs the coachees – be directive.
Every time the leader is in a driver position, conveying instructions, requesting changes, informing of the direction, asking for more. In such cases, it has to be very clear in the mind of the leader that the agenda is the organization’s not the coachee’s. In such cases, we are not coaching (curious and serving), we are leading, directing. We might be trusting, but we are serving the organization, not the team members.
When performance doesn’t meet expectations – make a request.
Ambiguous situations are when performance does not meet expectations. In such cases, the leader who does a good job will clarify the gaps, request changes, specify consequences and offer support. This has nothing to do with coaching. I have seen leaders using a “coaching tone” to do this, with questioning and listening techniques, trying to have the team member come to their leader’s agenda. I find such practice manipulative at least. Once the gaps have been identified, the actual requested performance agreed to, the consequences understood, then, if the team member re-commits to the goal, and if there is renewed trust from the leader, we can come back to coaching and support how the person will get there. Without trust, all you have is a “coaching tone” (“I am here to help you”), that is in fact condescending.
Be clear about which hat you are wearing.
Because of the trusting relationship involved in coaching – which in fact involves co-trusting, there is a candidness and accepted vulnerability on both sides, an authentic openness. For that reason, it is important not to abuse this “sacred space” and to be clear when we are not in it anymore. The leader has a two-dimensional role – driver of performance and developer of people – and should be very cautious not to pretend that he or she is a coach at all moments of the supervisory relationship: this would be a pretense at best. Coaching is a hat, not an identity. You need to know when to wear it – always to serve the other, not self.
Therefore, when leaders choose to use coaching approaches, and even more importantly, when an organization asks from leaders that they behave more in a coaching manner, these distinctions need to be very clear for all. If not, the whole approach could lose credibility very quickly and this loss could be deeper and more durable than any gains accomplished by adding the “coaching style” to the toolbox of leaders, even those who know how to make the difference clear – because of those who won’t.
Suggested reading for the Leader-Coach: Edgar Schein, Helping, Berrett-Koehler, 2009.
Janon Hamel is a Conductor and Executive Coach at ViRTUS, specializing in emotional intelligence, Neuro-Linguistic program (NLP), leadership and organizational development, and executive coaching.
Christmas is an exciting time of year that very often sees us rushing to the malls, trying to find that perfect gift for the special someone(s) in our lives.
Giving to those we care about brings joy, laughter, and an appreciation for what we have. And what better way to share that gratitude and the spirit of giving by extending it to those we don’t necessarily know, who need a little extra help bringing joy and happiness to their own families this time of year.
Thousands of children in our own backyard would go without a Christmas gift if it weren’t for wonderful organizations like the Vancouver Christmas Bureau, who step in to help those in need.
I have a 4 year old who reminds me that we should never underestimate how much happiness a small toy can bring to a child, and seeing that joy in a child is sometimes the only gift a parent really needs.
At ViRTUS, we recognize that there are so many families in our own community who could benefit from a small gift, and our team is committed to helping. Every year, we participate in a fun Christmas gift exchange and donate all gifts to a local children’s charity.
Here’s how the gift exchange works:
We’re making a relatively small difference, and if more and more people embrace the spirit of giving, collectively we can make a huge impact.
On behalf of the entire ViRTUS team, we wish you great health, happiness and prosperity. Happy Holidays!
We’ve been told one of the major reasons people want to work with us – they want our culture in their culture. We work hard as individuals and as a team to live our values and help each other work within our boundaries.
We came across the following post about company culture – originally posted on the McNeill Nakamoto Blog. A great 2 minute read. Enjoy!
Research shows that people who are happy at work, are better performers, have strong relationships with colleagues, and open communication with their managers. All of this leads to high employee retention, work satisfaction and a healthy corporate culture.
In a survey from Software Advice, respondents were asked what aspects of company culture would attract them to apply to a particular company. See the results in the image below.
In recent years, we’ve heard job seekers claiming that they want to work in a fun office environment. ‘Fun’ may get you in the door, but will it keep you there? Honesty and transparency is the front runner in these survey results. Fun is great for recruitment, but honesty is where you will find retention.
What can companies do to attract the best talent?
Clearly define your corporate culture and values, and keep the message consistent. An engaged workforce who is committed to the company’s bottom line, and their own personal success will project a positivity that customers embrace.
When it comes to recruiting top talent, showcase your fantastic work environment, and be sure to maintain that environment consistently. Embrace an innovative culture that supports communication within teams. Employees will work hard and be proud of their company.
A healthy, honest corporate culture is essential to an organization’s success. Attract the right employees who align their values with your corporate values, and once that right fit is established, continue to nurture the health of the culture to retain the best employees.
[read time: 4 mins]
If the last time you thought about your strategic plan you couldn’t immediately recall what was in it, couldn’t remember where the binder was, and then needed to dust the binder off once you found it…my guess is your strategic plan was stale.
One of the core challenges to effective strategic planning is building in a frequent review process to ensure that your plan stays relevant, you are tracking progress and accountabilities, and there is a clear line of sight between the ongoing operations of the business and your long-term destination as an organization.
Now the word frequent means different things at different stages of your business growth. In start-up mode the shear number of shiny objects you have to choose from means a monthly review of the plan is appropriate. In our discussion we’re going to focus on established companies and organizations that are well past the start-up phase, and as a result, quarterly follow-ups to the strategic plan are appropriate.
About every three to four months changes in people, the economy, competitors, your market, the industry, customers, or technology will put pressure against your strategy to the point that your strategic plan no longer feels relevant and timely. At this point, most organizations will shelve the plan due to lack of relevance to the current situation and, inevitably, all of the hard work, energy, and enthusiasm that went into creating the annual plan falls short with 75% of the year still left to unfold.
Bringing your team together to go through your strategic plan for a few hours on a quarterly basis is the surest way I know to revitalize your plan and maintain its relevance all year. Here is a four-step process to facilitating your own quarterly strategic planning follow-up session:
Step 1 – Evaluation. Start your session by evaluating your plan using the following questions: What’s working well? What needs improvement? What’s missing from the plan? How have we been celebrating our success along the way? The answers to these four questions will provide an overarching view of the validity of your plan, where it needs to be changed, and what things need to be added that you didn’t know about when you first built the plan.
Step 2 – Review. For each of the three to seven core objectives you are focused on this year, ask the person responsible to walk the group through their action steps and to update the team on progress, delays, missed targets, unrealistic timelines, and finally, new actions. The rest of the team will provide insight, support, and feedback to help ensure that everyone understands the current status and how they can support their peer moving forward.
Step 3 – Revise. If an objective needs to be removed or reprioritized or a new objective needs to be formed based on new data, this is the time to engage the team in discussion, frame the objective, choose an owner, and build an action plan with accountabilities and timelines. If you’re not sure whether or not your objectives are properly framed, here’s a quick test: if there’s no way to measure your objective so we can throw a party to celebrate completing it, it’s not an objective. The most common framework used to test an objective is SMART: is the objective Specific, Measureable, Attainable, Relevant, and Timely?
Step 4 – Next Review. With the team together, now is the best time to select a date for the next quarterly review. It might seem strange to make this a step, yet in my experience without getting a date in the calendar now, the quarterly sessions can end up being semi-annual instead.
Whenever I’m asked what the number one thing a CEO can do with their team to improve the quality of their annual strategic planning process my answer is always the same: review it more frequently and at a mininum, once a quarter.
I had just spent five years on the road, globetrotting and delivering Enterprise sales training. I was a facilitator through and through, not a project manager.
The sheer volume of information, requests, emails and new processes was overwhelming. To add to this, I started when the company was launching two of the most strategic products in its history – PlayBook and the BlackBerry 7 series.
Honestly, I failed. My projects were off track and in the red. The scope and final deliverables for some of my projects were not clear and development had already started. The risk of wasted resources during this extremely delicate time for the company was a thought that made me nauseous.
I did eventually find my way and enjoyed many successes as a Program Manager after this initial learning curve. In fact, once I learned the processes and built some strong supportive relationships, I really loved my new role.
Recently I have found myself providing guidance to an up and coming Project Manager at ViRTUS. Through this coaching we have curated some tips that will help all project managers stand out and go from good to greatness, whether they are newbies or seasoned.
Tip#1: If Everything’s “Fine”, Keep Digging
I agree wholeheartedly with all of Jill Duffy’s advice written in her PC Magazine article.
The one tip that really stands out for me is that if someone says everything’s fine you should keep digging. Duffy writes, “Check-in’s are invaluable. Very often, I find a check-in meeting results in an answer of “everything’s fine.” That’s when I find digging deeper and asking follow-up questions like, “that’s great to hear, but, really, there are no issues at all?” can make you stand out, and allows you to get more valuable feedback. That follow-up question often leads to responses like, “well, yes, X has been moving along nicely, but there was this little Y that rubbed me the wrong way.” There are many people who simply don’t like to complain, so it’s up to the project manager to dig deeper.”
I lived this exact scenario. I would get a green light from everyone during my weekly status meetings, only to realize that by the following Monday one of my critical teams put my project on the backburner due to another higher priority request, languishing my project into the dreaded red zone. After this experience, I also dug deeper and asked lots of questions to understand other team’s work-load beyond what I was asking them to do.
Tip #2: Build Strong Relationships
I heard how important it was to build strong relationships ad nauseam and was always left thinking – this is kind of obvious. No matter what role you’re in, its important to have strong relationship with the people you work with so why is it so important for project managers to have strong relationships?
Here’s what I learned broken down into a little formula:
Who: A project manager needs to have great relationships with their project team, stakeholders, vendors and peers.
Why: Project Managers are the hub of information which will be coming fast and furious and from many directions (ie: from all of the people listed above). Being privy to mission critical information could save your project. When things go sideways (this is inevitable), renegotiating timelines and asking for favours will go over much better with people who like and trust you.
How: There are many great tips on how to build strong relationships in this blog post. Key takeaway: don’t start when you need something. Building relationships is just that – they need to built from the ground up and continuously nurtured. Take an interest in what other people do, be sincere, get personal but stay professional and always, always be curious and ask questions – no matter how busy you are. Be authentic and empathetic, which means putting yourself in other people’s shoes.
Tip #3: Be a Performance-Based Project Leader
Brienne Armstrong, Client Ambassador, ViRTUS contributes by saying, “On any given project – the number of people involved can vary. The leadership style of a project manager can influence flow and outcome of the project tremendously. The common characteristic I’ve noticed among top tier PM’s is their ability to adapt, whether it’s to external conditions, internal re-orgs or a change with project team engagement.
By taking the time to know and lead each unique individual on my team, I’m able to get superior end results through enhanced performance, even when the tough gets going.
Knowing how to focus on each person’s strengths as well as having an awareness of their liabilities, is essential when working towards a desired outcome.
Tip #4: The Triple Constraint (cost, schedule, scope/quality) is a conversation, not a straight jacket
We love the “the triple constraint” tip from Dorian Prior, Manager, Employee Development, Fortis BC. He learned that cost, schedule and scope / quality in project management is a conversation, not a straight jacket.
Prior says, “When you are new to project management there is so much focus on managing scope, and delivering the project on time and on budget.”
He adds, “While those things are important, it’s even more important to remember the purpose of a project manager is to add business value – sometimes that means keeping the project on a tight schedule, on a tight budget, and to a very specific scope, and sometimes it means recognizing that holding on too tightly to the triple constraints can result in delivering a product that has very little business value.”
Amanda Prelazzi is an Instructional Designer at ViRTUS
The key to helping turn managers into leaders is to ensure the process you use is simple and easy to implement; you can always layer on complexity later. Here’s a five-step approach for starting down the path of developing your managers into leaders:
Mentors – ask your managers which mentors or leaders in their life have inspired them to grow beyond what they thought was possible. What were the characteristics these mentors or leaders displayed?
Legacy – considering the characteristics of the inspiring leaders in their lives, ask the managers what legacy they would like to leave behind a leader.
360 – using your company’s survey tool, complete a 360 degree review of the managers. If you don’t have a tool in place you can use Survey Monkey to ask these three simple questions: what does the manager do too much of? Not enough off? What do they do just the right amount of?
Gaps – taking the legacy description and the results of the 360, work with the managers to uncover their blind spots and gaps in their leadership abilities. These become the target areas for improvement.
Development – this is the most critical step. Provide the managers development opportunities in the form of special projects, leadership development programs, books and courses tied to their development needs, and coaching and mentoring, in support of the gaps and blind spots they need to develop.
Starting with the end in mind and then working out a personalized plan for each manager which deals directly with the areas they most need to improve on ensures that they are receiving the right tools at the right time to help them grow from managers to leaders.
I was recently chatting with a colleague about one of my favorite topics, Organizational Culture; what it is? How does it form? What elements make some stand out against others? How does it bring out the best in people? Or how might it limit people’s potential? To me, the culture is the soul of the organization; it encompasses how we do the things that we do, the things we say, the pictures on the walls, the ceremonies and rituals we engage in, the processes we follow, the processes we don’t follow, the gratitude and appreciation we give and receive, the feeling we get when we walk into the space, the stories we tell…I could go on and on.
If done right, it allows us to be who we are within the walls of workplace and draws on the strengths of the people to take both them and the organization to new levels of excellence together. Win.
If done wrong, things can turn pretty scary, pretty quickly (read: hating your job, never feeling like yourself at work, distrust, burnout, gossip, conflict etc.).
Human behavior fascinates me to no end and while traditional psychology has focused mostly on what is wrong with individuals, which carries with it the inherent assumption that individuals are lacking in some way, Positive Psychology focuses on strengths and building the best life possible, it looks at what’s needed to take individuals from good to amazing in all areas of their life, to find and nurture genius and talent.
SO, the question that has been on my mind for quite a while is: How do we create and foster the principles of Positive Psychology in the workplace and is there a term to describe it? Ask and she shall receive: The answer lies in Positive Organizational Scholarship (POS). POS is all about studying excellence and ways in which organizations and the people in them prosper in extraordinary ways. There is actually a Center for Positive Organizational Scholarship in Michigan, and they outline (in this video) four powerful questions that POS asks to shift our thinking:
Question 1: What result do I want to create? This question puts us in a fundamentally different state of “I’m going to create something that doesn’t exist”, which means I have to go to the edge of my abilities and knowledge to create what I want to.
Question 2: Am I internally directed? What are my values? What would I do if I had 2% more courage in this situation? I might do all kinds of things…
Question 3: Am I other focused? Do I know what others really feel? What their needs and interests are?
Question 4: Am I externally open? This is the heart of how to get there – If I’m externally open I can now learn what I need to do to get to where we need to go.
There’s obviously so much more to POS but this is a start.
Currently, there are organizations out there that get it and I call them Game-Changers and most of them are on this GameChangers500 list. These organizations focus on what the possibilities are, they focus on strengths, they replace control with trust, and they practice gratitude and develop authentic global leaders. Don’t get me wrong, we can’t negate what’s not working, it’s extremely important to, but it’s easy to get caught in a damage control state where all we focus on is what’s not working instead of what the possibilities are and how we can unlock our people’s potential to help us get there.
The coolest thing is that POS, at its core, asks the same fundamental questions that shake individuals into understanding what makes them come alive, as it does of organizations:
For organizations: Who are we? What are our strengths? What’s our purpose/why do we exist? What do we want to create? What legacy do we want to leave?
For individuals: Who am I? What are my strengths? What’s my purpose/why do I exist? What do I want to create? What legacy do I want to leave?
Because individuals are the basic unit of organizational change, shifting the way we think (and do) individually to become better leaders of our own lives can have a massive ripple effect where the outcome is an organization that embraces authenticity and greatness. Just imagine the possibilities of that kind of entity…
I feel like I’ve just scratched the surface of POS and that we will be seeing much much more of its principles and application in organizations popping up, as the views of leadership, work and purpose continue to shift and fuse….and I’m delighted and grateful to be apart of an organization that just…gets it.
As Solutions Engineer for ViRTUS, Krystal operates in a business development capacity with a focus on client solutions and strategic growth. Her sweet spot is being a connector of people, ideas and strategies.